Y HELLO THAR. RANDOM INSPECTION.
— They let them into Wise like:
Getting close just be like:
They be like:
Parents driving up to Northfield:
Passing out the Rook Books:
Upperclassmen watching from the Barracks:
Cadre waiting for the Shark Attack:
What parents think its going to be like:
What it’s really like:
When alumni drop their own kids off and see the cadre:
2 MORE DAYS
When I was told to move from a Faculty Parking Space:
So here’s the hilarity. I’m checking out some shots for rook week, and I got a faculty (VSM SGM or 1SG) come over to me. He’s like
Faculty 1: “Are you CDT 1, Why are you parked in the Faculty parking space”
CDT 1: “Well, uh yeah, Im technically in charge of a building with over 100,000 dollars worth of A/V equipment, I’m here to check out shots for rook week”
Faculty 1: “Well do you have an ID? Wheres your permit?”
Faculty 1: “LET ME SEE YOUR FACULTY ID, YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. MOVE IT. YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES BEFORE I CALL SECURITY”
CDT 1: “Well I have these master keys to a building, and I park in front of a Faculty sign everyday”
Faculty 1: “THAT DOESN’T MATTER, YOU NEED TO MOVE IT”
CDT 1: “Riiight…”
I’m fucking staring at an SUV parked right next to the gate, and he just seems fixated on me. Jokes on him. North main won’t tow my car because I’ve gotten it fixed there many times… they’ve actually helped me out when I was going to get towed a couple of times, and back when I didn’t know security as much, the North Main guys would tell em “Yeah we’re not towing that, we need a flatbed”.
So I’d strategically park where a flatbed wouldn’t be able to maneuver. They knew I’d get my auto work done at North Main. I gotta start carrying around a Ron Swanson permit.
I’ve never had that happen out of the 100 times when I legitimately did not need to be in Jackman other than being lazy. The chief even nicknamed my car “The Blackmobile”. I think I hold the record for tickets without tows.
We had an Overheard post from some kid trying to be funny:
CDT 1: “Overheard? I haven’t heard anything funny on that page since Vietnam.”
Now thats when I say, take a look around, all the tools bags and people worried about their jobs like its the apocalypse. I tell you what, Overheard has almost died twice, and now its getting to a point where almost no one knows what the original purpose was - basically rumormill.
So I’m breaking the golden rule of overheard because I went in an honestly had a chat with Vanecek about how fucked up the rule was about 5th years. They legitimately just changed it to spite me. I mean honestly. No fifth years would complain except for me. And I made a good argument, so what’d they do? Change the fucking rules. They made the Jim Black clause. “A 5th year is not authorized to wear a uniform”
Well thanks, about a year late, and this proves I was right. Not that it matters now. Norwich has come a long way, and lost a lot.
But let me break down the commandants office, in a no shit serious scenario:
Holden - Col - This is the lead guy besides Gen. Vanecek and Schneider. Holden can be good, but once you mention a fault of his own, he’ll come right back at you, like I so stupidly learned. I don’t think I’ll gain his respect back, but at this point, he hasn’t done much to actually merit the title of “Awesome Commandant who takes care of his Cadets” Honestly. General Kelley stood up for me more than this guy did. Holden means well, but I’m worried he forgets why he’s actually here. When I went to him for help, all it was included “Go to therapy, forget the past.” Sorry. I can’t. It’s ingrained in my fucking skull when the school backstabs me multiple times. I understand when its a girlfriend or something like that - but in real life, when I have spent a quarter of a million to attend Norwich, I can’t simply “Let go” of administrative errors that jeopardized me getting a degree.
Gardner - LTC - You will never meet a man of whom you wish you yearn to know what he puts in his coffee. No matter what the day, no matter the situation or circumstance. He’s always got the energy of an A-6 Intruder. Rumor has it his blood contains a natural derivative of speed. The man eats, lives, and breathes the NUCC. I pitty the fool who makes an enemy of him. I’ve seen him mad however, I think once. Hell froze over. The sun left the sky. It was scary as fuck.
Farrell - LTC - The “New Guy”. He’s from West Point. Truth is, he cares more about cadets than anyone can imagine. He was enlisted, he was a west pointer, and he’s an all around badass. He’s like a younger Professor X, and just as intimidating. But if you’re in MCW, you know, he tried to save rescue team. He tried his damndest. Farrell has never stopped impressing me as a Cadet. Him and Gardner could run the Corps alone.
Hagenlocker - LTC - Serious Swotivator - I think, I never really asked about his badge. It might be an intel or swo, but he’s got a good amount of experience for a Navy Officer to be a Commandant. Don’t play fuck fuck games with him because he’ll see right through you. I’ll never forget the day he told me “You need to earn our respect”. I only hope to have done that by the time I graduate.
Lane - LTC - Old School - Eh. He’s a goddamn War hero. You don’t hear much about his history, because honestly, thats on a need to know basis. I barely see him as is. He means well. If you’re in trouble with him, buckle up.
Passalacqua - I understand where he’s coming from. He’s got a good family and such, and being prior 572, he needs to lookout for himself and can’t show any favoritism. He actually listens to cadets as well. And his son is a fucking beast. I’ve never seen a cadre staff more on tack than Jerry’s.
Siepel - On the 7th day, And I tell you what, that Major Siepel was hired, and on that rock was built the foundation of Norwich, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. Honestly. The woman deals with an innumerable amount of bullshit every goddamn day. With Mrs. Grey as her sidekick (I’d like to think of it as Batman and Robin), they keep the school in line, the NUCC housing billets taken care of, and other foundation keeping aspects. Siepel and Grey are the two you do not want to piss off. Ever. You’ll end up in Plumley. I’ve seen Siepel take care of more Cadets than anyone can imagine, she holds the title to Commandant of the Year for 2012. And well deserved. Its too bad the goddamn glass ceiling at Norwich is too thick to give her LTC. She should be General Siepel.
Currier - LTC - Not too much to say about him. Never seen him smile. Runs the honor committee with an iron fist. I don’t know how you can trust someone who doesn’t smile. Thank god I haven’t been in a situation to fuck up enough to warrant a visit with him. I honestly don’t know that much about him except for his past career.
Vanecek - Some people like him, some people don’t. I think he means well. He protects the schools investments. He has to deal with an insurmountable pile of lawsuits everyday. He deals with me alright. Nice guy.
Edwards - LTC - Provo Commandant - Ex Air Force band MSG. Means well. Don’t piss him off. “I always win” - Famous Quote. He’s backed up Cav multiple times, loves the band of course. Give him a Jazz CD, and a five guys gift card you have a new best friend. He deals with our shenanigans in Provo, and does a great job at it - considering the past provo commandants. As many people would like to believe, he didn’t get rid of 145. That was some nefarious shenanigans up in Jackman that even Edwards didn’t have power over.
He can drink you under the table, so don’t bother challenging him either. He’s got years of Air Force experience as a band major. The band has never sound as good as it has now in my 7 years I’ve been at Norwich.
CSM’s: Rooneys Cool - Ex Boston Cop I believe. Don’t argue with Bergen, he’ll make you feel like an idiot. Putney’s a ranger vet and as by the book as they come (in a good way), don’t give him a reason to blouse you and you’ll be in his good spirits.
Night Guards: I don’t know if they still have em. The new guy’s a Norwich alum and has a name I can’t pronounce, nor remember.
I think thats about as honest as I can be with everyone. Have a good year my fellow Cadets:
As for when I got threatened today of my car getting towed in front of the whole cadre staff. That faculty will remain unnamed. Security knows I mean well. I’ll just have to get hired by Norwich to park there. That would be hilarious. I pay his salary. With 250 grand, I should have my own parking space as is."
TLDR: When I get told I’m gonna get towed when I have a reason to be in Jackman: